October is Church Disability Awareness Month

Every year, the federal government declares October to be disability awareness month. I think churches can learn something from this. In fact, I am staking a claim that, henceforth, churches are challenged to host Disability Awareness efforts in their churches, starting with 2007.

At Elim, we're working on this very idea, and would like to share some ideas with you in the near future. Please stay tuned to find out how you can host Disability Awareness Month in your church.

"Not This Separate Category"

Kay Olson over at The Gimp Parade had a great recent post about a CNN report. Aparently she posted on a CNN article about people with developmental disabilities (Thanks for the resource tips in that awesome post Kay!). I loved how Kay broke down the whole "us and them" philosophy:

I think the main thing that nondisabled people don't necessarily know or understand is that developmentally disabled people are not this separate category of human beings. People tend to think, "We can do things. They cannot." And there's no line like that dividing all of us. There are shades of ability, varying talents that surface in surprising places. This is true for physical disabilities as well. Most of us, in the course of our lives, discover we have abilities or affinities for some things and lack talent elsewhere, so this idea that a certain class of people lack value or the ability to contribute inevitably underestimates and wastes a lot of human potential.

Kay hits on a vital message that Elim, too, so badly wants to communicate: It's not about them and us - it's about us together. That's how God created us to be. And though the Fall, sin, and all kinds of debilitating affects visited the human race and caused any number of difficulties, diseases, disorders, and disabilities, God still calls us together, to fellowship together, to be a blessing to each other.
Thanks to Kay for being today's blessing of Truth.

Flaming Hot Cheetos for Cancer

One of our students at Elim has a mom who is struggling with cancer right now. The following is from that student's teacher:

During summer session this year I received the sad news that one of my student’s mothers was diagnosed with cancer. It was found during a routine check-up and she then began aggressive treatment to stop its progress. It was devastating. I have had her son in my class for 3 years now and have become very fond of the entire family.

I made sure to do what I could to be supportive; offering help, sending prayers or trying to relieve whatever stress that I could on this overwhelmed family. But it didn’t seem to be enough.

While I was doing my best to help the family, I realized I might have been overlooking their son. He is a 17-year-old with autism and I began to see his behavior change. During our routine morning circle time, we sing a song that ends with “and how are you today?”. The boys are then given a choice board with nine different emotion pictures to choose from. This normally happy young man, who almost always chooses “happy” or “excited,” began to point to “worried” on a daily basis. He also seemed more anxious than usual.

It was then that I realized that he was able to understand, on his own level, that something had changed in his family. So, with the help of our program social worker, I decided to do something to make this experience something that we could all learn from.

It started with a "social story" that included text and pictures, written at a very basic level, about what it means to be sick. The story included the concepts that people who are sick may have pain, may need to rest or may just act differently than usual. It talked about how the student’s mom was sick and that we could help by thinking good thoughts, offering to help or buy buying a gift to show her that we’re thinking of her. This story was read to the students during their social work group.

The story also included that we would be taking a trip to the Dollar Store where each child would be able to pick out one gift of their choice for their friend’s mom. Later that day we went to the store and let the boys “loose.” I wasn’t sure what to expect. Would they pick something for themselves? Would they even understand that they were looking for something for someone else? I was amazed. The gifts ranged from a jeweled tiara and necklace set, to a pink slinky. One student even picked out a bag of his favorite snack, Flaming Hot Cheetos, and was reminded that they were not for him and he would not be able to eat them. He was then asked again, “what do you think your friend’s mom would like?”. He looked at me like I was daft, and replied, “FLAMING HOT CHEETOS!” very emphatically.

I decided the trip was a success. The gifts were all labeled from each child and arranged in a gift basket with a card signed by the staff and students. It went home on the bus that day and I hoped it would bring some joy during a hard time. The mother called the following day, thoroughly pleased with each gift, and even knew who the Cheetos were from without reading the tag!

We did all learn from this experience. The boys showed that they could feel for others, grasping empathy on their own level. I learned that just when I thought I knew these wonderful set of young men, I really didn’t. They surprise and inspire me everyday. It’s in these moments that I truly see the hands of God upon each of them.

Once again, we see how people with disabilities, in grasping the simplicity but enormity of empathy and basic felt needs, are teaching us and blessing us, just as they touched this special Elim teacher.

I can only smile as I think about how this mom will open her basket and wonder "Why flaming hot cheetos?"

Johnny Who?

I never, ever, ever in my life thought I would ever quote the star of an MTV show with a very unfortunate name, but here goes.

In last year's movie, The Ringer, Knoxville notes in the bonus features that

“God has taken something from them in one area, but He’s made them extraordinary in all the other areas.”

It's a great quote, and it really reflects the truth of what disabilities mean. Some people say that a disabiled sense in one area actually heightens your other senses. I don't think it does - I think it makes you rely more on your other senses, something you don't do when you have all of them functioning properly.

"Rely" is the key word in this discussion. When some is disabled, they cannot rely on that part of them that is disabled. I have a speech impediment. I cannot trust that my communication will come through clearly just by me mumbling. I must find ways of making sure I am clear, and I do that by relying on different tricks that help me get around my impediment.

People with more severe disabilities rely on more severe solutions: a full-time aide, speech devices, wheelchairs, friends. They all "rely." And it is this reliance that offers to teach us so much, and which leads into my next two posts. The first will be about where we place value when it comes to disabilities, and the second will be on the object of our reliance.

Today's Blessing: Mohinder

When two Elim staff members arrived in Asia* this past April, they learned a lot about the differences in cultures. But some things are the same across the ocean, like Mohinder.

Mohinder is a little boy who had never made eye contact with his mother. In fact, it was difficult to ever tell if he was looking at anything in particular.

Kim wanted him to make eye contact, to engage with his environment. So she tried all kinds of things to get his attention and to get him to lock his sight on something, anything.

After many unsuccessful tries, Kim finally found a ball that lit up when you pounded it on the table. She splatted it right in front of Mohinder and his eyes darted toward the ball. A few more times, and he was looking at it consistently.

Mohinder's mom was excited, and she was standing right there. She took the ball and started banging it, geting Mohinder's attention, then pulling the ball towards her own face, forcing him to finally look his mother in the eyes. She did this over and over and over. She was so happy to see Mohinder do this, she started crying.

But it gets better.

Kim and Mohinder's mom would then guide his hand to the ball, and then, holding his hand and the ball, they would pound the ball down, settying off the lights. Mohinder could see that he could interact with this ball. He could do this. Slowly, he took more and more interest, and independence.

And by the end of the week, Mohinder was actually taking the ball on his own, pounding it, and watching with excitement as he caused the lights to go on. What a blessing!


* country un-named and child's name changed

Today's blessing: Michelle

Today, I watched as Michelle practiced sorting through different colored blocks, trying to arrange them in the right color-coded bowls. In the process, Michelle is learning sorting skills crucial to her vocational development. As I took her picture, she couldn’t help but smile every few seconds, even squeezing in a muffled "cheese" from time to time. She must have been thinking “I am supposed to smile when my picture is taken, but how many pictures does he have to take?”

Michelle was a blessing to me this morning, but I had to be open to the blessing too. This is the lesson then: God blesses you in unexpected ways, through people you don't expect. Be open to receiving His blessing from whatever source He chooses.

Madness of God

In his books, Rev. John Timmer (an ordained minister of the Christian Reformed Church denomination) frequently refers to works by Elie Wiesel. One quote that stands out for me is from a play by Wiesel called "The Madness of God." Here's what Timmer says concerning Wiesel's decision to call it God's madness rather than the madness of a group or individual person:

"...God's madness is his decision to use a weak and despised people to be the instrument of his saving purpose in history, to be the means whereby he brings healing and salvation to the nations."

Here again we see how God's strength is displayed, and powerfully so, in the midst of man's weakness. It seems as madness to us - why use what's weak when you want to succeed? Why use the lowly to proclaim your power? This is indeed the madness of God, and it is seen and evident all around us.